Yesterday was a Sucky day! My Momma heart was wounded and it was a struggle to “Mom Well”.
All I wanted was to have some nice family time before school starts next week. Our Summer hasn’t looked like I wanted it to and this Momma heart has been sad with the reality of how little time I have left with my girls before they launch out to build their own lives.
If you don’t know by now, motherhood is a struggle. It isn’t easy and definitely isn’t for the faint of heart. There are seasons where I have struggled well, and others… I JUST STRUGGLED. Yesterday I struggled.
MY plan for me and my daughters was to get pedicures and have some girl time. Daughter #2 burst into my bathroom as I was finishing my makeup and informed me that they would rather go to the pizza arcade. I didn’t have an issue with that and knew my husband would tag along… FAMILY time is just as valuable in this season as GIRL time.
I eagerly agreed to the change of plans, only for her to follow up with “GREAT! We each want to bring a friend.” BOOM! My plans of beautiful family time instantly lay in rubble at my feet.
ENTER MOM STRUGGLING…WELL?
What does this struggling mom do? I lay my hurt feelings aside and try to embrace how they want the end of their summer to look.
I truly thought that was the end of “upsets” for this episode of “Mom Struggling”, but there were aftershocks. Daughter #2 easily found a friend who could go on short notice. Sadly daughter #1 wasn’t as fortunate. This left us in a quandary…with everyone looking to this struggling and heart saddened momma for a solution.
In times past, I have reacted poorly to these situations. If its too difficult to figure out, and it is already against how my heart wants it to be, my gut reaction is to dramatically throw my hands up in the air and say “Forget about it. We aren’t doing anything!” and storm off. This dramatic exit is two fold:
1. I need to pout because my feelings are hurt
2. A dramatic exit typically keeps them from following me in an attempt to change my mind.
I struggled with my natural instinct to call an end to everything and flounce off. I struggled watching daughter #1 sad that she would be without a friend while her sister had a friend. I saw daughter #2 ‘s heart sink when I suggested we reschedule for tomorrow (which is now today). Her friend was READY and already PLANNING to share the day with her. I had my own struggles because “If they would have just cooperated with MY plans, just the four of us would already be heading out the door for the pizza place.”
THE STRUGGLE TO RESPOND, NOT REACT
I threw several options out, each one promptly shot down. I squished my hurting heart to RESPOND to what was in front of me. I knew I didn’t want to my aching heart to cause me to REACT in a negative way.
I prayed and struggled. Then prayed some more.
The solution that was accepted was the the confirmed friend would come over and hang out at our home for the day. The next day (my current today) we would all (two confirmed friends in tow) go to the pizza arcade. They were happy. I was happy for them, but still struggling with my own saddened heart.
ALLOWING SWEETNESS TO MELD WITH THE BITTER
So here I am, sitting in the pizza arcade writing about yesterday’s bitter struggles. There is no doubt about it…IT SUCKED. I can focus on that and let my wounded heart soak in the bitterness of my hurt, or I can struggle well as I watch them learn to walk the path of their life. There is sweetness!
- They didn’t come to the pizza place without me. (One day soon they will be driving themselves here and leaving me at home)
- I get to see their faces glow with joy as they giggle with their friends.
- I laughed with Daughter #2 (and her friend) as we attempted to traverse the laser maze.
- I get to ride home listening to how much fun they had and how this was the best way to end their Summer.
These things add sweetness to yesterday’s bitter. I have to allow the sweetness of today to meld with the bitter of yesterday. When I do this, I allow something delightful to happen. I get a glimpse of the amazing adults they are learning to be.
JESUS’ MOM STRUGGLED
I think of Jesus’ mother Mary. She most certainly struggled. Even though she knew He was the Son of God… He was her son too! She knew his movement inside of her womb, knew what each whimper and cry meant. She would ultimately know the anguish of burying Him. In between those places in her journey, she struggled to allow Him to become who God meant for Him to be.
Her world was shaken when a teen/tween Jesus stayed behind to speak at the temple. He was about His Father’s business and probably never thought about how his mom’s heart must have panicked when she realized he was missing and couldn’t find him for three days.
“When they couldn’t find him, they went back to Jerusalem to search for him there. Three days later they finally discovered him in the Temple, sitting among the religious teachers, listening to them and asking questions. ” Luke 2:45-46, NLT
Yesterday I wanted to ask my girls “What have you done to me? I wanted a sweet family day and you want to spend it with friends!” I won’t do that. I’ll do the same thing Mary did. I’ll store all these things in my heart. I’ll remember the bitter, but I’ll cling to the sweet.
Now is a season of my children becoming the people God planned for them to be. I am blessed, even in my heart aches, because my daughters are good people…whats more important is that they WANT to be good.
I can have my idea of how things should go, but my plans are secondary to the course He has for them. I will follow Mary’s example of watching and trusting God to grow them in the ways needed to fulfill His purpose in and through their lives.
This struggling Momma’s prayer:
If you are a mom struggling well… or just plain struggling… know that you are not alone. If you would like to share your struggles… I’d love to respond and pray for you.