Today I HURT. My body has betrayed me and my only course to not emotionally and mentally crumble to the pain has been to medicate and stay in bed. This has affected my ability to meet my commitment to posting daily for the #write31days challenge. I attempted to “cheat” a little bit by sharing a post that I had written a while back. I decided to remove that post and just write from the heart. There will be no flowery words or beautiful descriptions. There may not even be an image to accompany this. Here is my heart…
I knew by 4:00 this morning that it going to be a rough day. Even though I had not seen a forecast, I knew we were in for a weather change. I have not been pain-free in over a year. I am scheduled for another surgery early November and am praying this provided the relief I am searching for.
I’ve cried out to God for Him to reveal Himself as healer. Some days (even though I am weighted down by pain) I can push through and live a fairly normal life. Other days…like today…the pain threatens to crush me. It doesn’t just affect my body, but it pierces my mind and interferes with my ability to focus or think.
The pain doesn’t stop there. It threatens to shake my faith. I sense questions creep in to my my mind…”If God is a healer, why are you still suffering?” It puts me in mind of the questions the enemy used to lure Eve into sin. Where will this question lead me?
My only answer can be found in these Scriptures.
“So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin.”, (1 Peter 4:1, NLT)
While I don’t have the answer to making the pain go away…I use the pain as a reason to draw close to God…easily I could use it as an excuse to pull further away. I am still trusting God with my healing and believing that one day I will be pain-free.
My simple prayer…God, please be our healer. In Jesus’ name we pray~Amen